I know that I am dealing with it, however for all of this year I have had anxiety, worry, and all the other emotions that come with it. My eldest turning 17, makes me wonder how I will feel when she is 18 and able to leave the nest... cry * Sob* go completely insane, How do other moms deal with this. They seem like they handle it alright. However myself I know that I am not handling it in the best of ways.
Sure outside of me looks like I am dealing with it really well, inside however is a totally different story to be told. I keep wondering have I taught them enough, have I lead them in the correct directions, have I explained enough to them, most importantly have I spent enough time with them in their growing years, have I done what moms do correctly for them to survive out of the nest by themselves ? Do I have time to do more with them, if I haven't done everything I should is it to late? All these questions and very little answers. Makes me wonder do all moms go through this.
I have one more year with my eldest, to do all the things I think or thought I didn't, to teach and show. Will it be enough time? We all know that many kids find the one and only and get swept off their feet and move to be married ! However will they be ready for that, and if not for marriage a relationship of some sort, will they be safe?
I don't know I didn't worry about myself when I left the nest I couldn't wait till that day came in fact that morning I left, and moved states away from the family that raised me for the last 4 to 5 years prior to me becoming an adult. But my home life back then was difficult and abusive, My kids don't know about the abuse and difficult lifestyle that so many of us had at their age. The reason why kids turned 18 and headed for the hills the minute they blew their candles out. My kids have no reason to run from home, like I did at least. But that doesn't make it easier for me to realize that my oldest will be an adult fully in just one year from tomorrow....Thursday Sept 22. It is literately driving me crazy! (ok maybe not that bad) But I am worried for them, worried that they will not be able to manage on their own, or maybe its just I am not ready to let them go at all.
Darn age thing anyway, Why do our babies have to grow up at all, why can't I just wrap them up and keep them safe with me forever.. I know that I am a good mom and their dad a good dad. Still with all that we have done for them, and will always do for them, we still find ourselves over protective of them, because once they close that door to move on their own, well its a final thing at most times. I only wish they won't move to far away, I only hope for their happiness, and their success in life. I love them both so much and want them to be safe in life. I want to protect them for always!
No comments:
Post a Comment