Mom has 17th year Brithday Blues !

            So is it just me, or does every mom out there have the blues about their oldest turning 17?
I know that I am dealing with it, however for all of this year I have had anxiety, worry, and all the other emotions that come with it.  My eldest turning 17, makes me wonder how I will feel when she is 18 and able to leave the nest... cry * Sob* go completely insane, How do other moms deal with this. They seem like they handle it alright. However myself I know that I am not handling it in the best of ways.
           Sure outside of me looks like I am dealing with it really well, inside however is a totally different story to be told. I keep wondering have I taught them enough, have I lead them in the correct directions, have I explained enough to them, most importantly have I spent enough time with them in their growing years, have I done what moms do correctly for them to survive out of the nest by themselves ? Do I have time to do more with them, if I haven't done everything I should is it to late? All these questions and very little answers. Makes me wonder do all moms go through this.
            I have one more year with my eldest, to do all the things I think or thought I didn't, to teach and show. Will it be enough time? We all know that many kids find the one and only and get swept off their feet and move to be married ! However will they be ready for that, and if not for marriage a relationship of some sort, will they be safe?
             I don't know I didn't worry about myself when I left the nest I couldn't wait  till that day came in fact that morning I left, and moved states away from the family that raised me for the last 4 to 5 years prior to me becoming an adult. But my home life back then was difficult and abusive, My kids don't know about the abuse and difficult lifestyle that so many of us had at their age. The reason why kids turned 18 and headed for the hills the minute they blew their candles out. My kids  have no reason to run from home, like I did at least. But that doesn't make it easier for me to realize that my oldest will be an adult fully in just one year from tomorrow....Thursday Sept 22. It is literately driving  me crazy! (ok maybe not that bad) But I am worried for them, worried that they will not be able to manage on their own, or maybe its just I am not ready to let them go at all.
       Darn age thing anyway, Why do our babies have to grow up at all, why can't I just wrap them up and keep them safe with me forever.. I know that I am a good mom and their dad a good dad. Still with all that we have done for them, and will always do for them, we still find ourselves over protective of them, because once they close that door to move on their own, well its a final thing at most times. I only wish they won't move to far away, I only hope for their happiness, and their success in life. I love them both so much and want them to be safe in life. I want to protect them for always!

Dumpster Diving! Oh what we will do for our job, But hey its better then being on Drive!

     
        So today, I was working and my boss asked me what I thought about dumpster diving, I told her I ll take dumpster diving any day over doing drive. so off I went to grab a step stool as I am way to short to just climb into one of these things. Although the one in picture I might been able to get into however the one at work was much taller and wider then the one showing, also much more dirtier then this one. It wasn't filled with boxes I assure you that.
      I climbed into it, because she wanted me to look for a collar that we use, to make ice cream, that someone threw away. Well, I got in there, and sifted through 6-30 gallon bags of trash....... not a very clean part of my job but hey I got to get some air..... (not the air I would choose to breathe in, mind you). But air non the less,,,,, In any event after sifting through the trash the collar was not to be found.....  well I went back into the building told my boss this, and she looked confused.  An hour later we find the missing collar in the freezer connected to a ice cream that must been a mistake.. HA HA HA so much for the trash! Check the freezer first next time lol.

       So yeah that was my day at work, it was fun and yes I would do it again just to get out of doing the drive! HE HE HE (not really)! Forgive the way I look, I worked all day, slaving and what not lol, I work part time, a few days a week just to get myself out of the house and around some adult conversation.. so I don't go insane on my computer all day doing Graphics, Web sites, etc:

So now that you have gotten use to the knew look and its easier on the eyes!

    How do you like it? I made all the graphics/backgrounds/banner etc: for this blog and I intend to make all the graphics/backgrounds/and banners for the website as well. However I do wish I can have a dedicated website with my name and own personal domain. It will happen one day.
    They say Rome wasn't built in a day, so I have to look at all my steps one step at a time and one day at a time. I am hoping in the next few months that I ll have a website up somewhere, of course it will be a free website to start then I ll work my way up to my own Domain and what not.
     Anyone got any ideas that would give me a way to do this quicker would be appreciated. I am also accepting donations for school and for the website. As you can see on the right of this blog the CARE TO SHARE donating button. Feel free to donate to  my cause in anyway shape or form. If not, I still love you lol and appreciate you coming to see and read my blog.

Notice Any changes to my blog!

    Well I spent all weekend on the blog to make it my own, and well I do have to say it is awesome, It is done for now. I am updating the blog because I wanted to make a website that matches it, well my website visual is like my blog. So since I already had the blog established I felt I should test my ideas of my theme on it.
      It looks exactly like I thought it would and then some. It actually came out better then my visual idea of it. Now hopefully as time goes by and weekends ahead, I can work a little bit by little bit on my website. So I can include this blog in my site. Thus you my fans, readers and viewers do not need to go anywhere other then where you are. Wasn't that thoughtful of me?
      Any whoot just wanted to write and let you know of the changes and why they are the way they are. That way when you come here someday and see a website connected to the blog there is no need to panick you will already know what is to come and why,
       Thanks to all my readers out there, if it wasn't for you, there would be nothing for me to do other then listen or read to myself for no one other then myself. Thus I most likely would of gave up on this blog along time ago.

Heading into Fall, What is to come,

So what is expected from the fall weather, to come! Well the heat will slowly fade away to a nice breeze and cool days. Although I believe we are already in that time. I see that the mornings are very much cooler already, I also see the leaves turning their beautiful colors of reds, oranges, and yellows. Soon to be brown proving that Winter is not to far from following. Thankfully Winter has a few more months before it comes.

We also have the most awesome holiday coming where adults can be children for a day or at the very most pretend to be, (Ok I know most adults are children already everyday HA!)
 Our children will be dressing up and running a muck around the neighborhoods, bugging and knocking on doors for treats from their friendly and most giving neighbors.  I love the Halloween holiday as it is my favorite for decor around my house on the outside, My collection, I do have to restart btw, which is fine as I did have to update a lot of stuff however my collection is very small, I still have plenty of time to add to it, Hopefully this year I will be able to add a lot to it. Plus the Pumpkin craving has always been a joyful mess, But in the end it is worth it.

However the most beauty of it all is to be able to take the walks through the paths that our city has provided through the many parks full of trees and rivers, following the not so clear paths into their hidden areas, to find something that should not could not would not be there otherwise, the adventures that we take in the fall, with the kids, and to laugh and enjoy those fall days. The last days of what some would say summer days, but I just say before the real cold comes in. As beautiful as it is , it is sad because most of us will be in the house leaving only for work and school and the occasional dinner & movie out. Time to settle in and hibernate like the bears.





WONDERFUL TIMES OF FALL!

9/11 Approaches once again!

People say we will never forget 9/11, I ask how could we even start to forget 9/11. It was a type of tragedy that embeds itself into you. There is no hope nor wish to ever forget that time, that place that date, and most of all those people all around the world. There are people who have lost their lives for no reason other then selfish and conceited pride. There was no need to ever do such a thing but it did happen, those who lived it and died by it know this to be true. There are hero's all over this world, when I say hero's I say those that lived that day, died that day, those that helped that day and those who so badly wanted to but could not because of whatever reason. Our hearts our minds connected together Americans for that one moment that lasted what seemed to be a life time, and yet still to this day effects us in every way imaginable. Our lives will never be the same, the events that happened on 9/11 with our wonderful Trade Center attacked, our planes and other buildings and our loved ones that were damaged and killed that day, All of this wasn't done in vain, we fought back, we tightened up security, maybe a little to late, but something like that should never be allowed to happen again. I pray it doesn't ever happen again, not in my life time nor the life time of our future children. Please on the day of our 10 year anniversary we all should stop for a moment, think, pray or do something special in remembrance of those lost, "victims of a horrible crime" that did not go unpunished that is for sure.

I want to take the time right now, to thank all of the Soldiers of all the military branches out there for what they have done to help resolve that horrible day! Most of all I want to thank the police/firemen/paramedics/civilians/ men and women and anyone and all who were there that day that risk their lives or not risked but helped as well in some form, that helped those in need, those who weren't in need who did any task big or small to help in any way that day thank you. You are the people that we need in our lives the angels that help with out thought, THANK YOU! Those who wanted to help like myself but could not help except for prayer and compassion just thinking and praying was helping in one way. I want to apologize to the family's that lost loved ones or friends in that tragedy, My heart still goes out to you, and you are all in my thoughts, I will always remember exactly what I was doing and where I was that day as all of us will I am sure. We all have been effected by this tragedy in some way or another some more then others, Yet remember we all became one that day, we all connected as one that day, we all shared the pain the suffering the fear of that day. We all to this day still do, and many who have been born that do not know about that day will learn of that day from now on through history at school or going into the military for the first day..... Your family members your friends have not died in vain, for it has changed the way we look at the world today, and it will be taught it will be learned, how to prevent how to deal and above all how to get through it. GOD BLESS AMERICA and all those who have suffered, FOR WE STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT, AND WE WILL TAKE DOWN WHAT IS WRONG!